Chinese Population Control Backfires 20 years later. Or does it?

Warning, this might not be entirely politically correct. Read at your own risk. I am not responsible for convulsions brought on by lack of ability to laugh.

I remember 20 years ago, the Chinese Government told their population "one kid per family" because it was getting so super crowded citizens could not find their own feet on the sidewalk. Now from a social perspective in a crowded country, there is mucho pressure to comply although the government didn't exactly arrest or chop off the heads of those who didn't which is really nice.

It's a society where a male child is prized and a female infant is a giant disappointment.

So given the fact that they prefer the male child to carry on the family name and considering they could have but one child, they've terminated female fetuses or put up for adoption female children so they could try again for that prized male child. I have several American friends who've adopted Chinese infants. None have had penises I can tell you that. Do you need more scientific proof than 4 of my friends? No way. That's plenty scientific.

In China, there are lots of marrying-age males but no marrying-age females

So fast forward to 20 years later, which is actually today. So you don't have to fast forward anywhere since you're here. And guess what? Those "babies" are now 20-year-old men and they don't have girlfriends, sex partners or prospective wives because the female Chinese girls were adopted long ago and today they are in the US dating surfer dudes. How do I know there is a shortage of marrying-age females in China? I heard it on NPR (National Public Radio).

So there sit those fabulous, prized, male heirs with no way to produce other male heirs

In case you missed biology class, the family name can't be passed on by yet another male heir if there is no female to grow one. Men can't have babies, they can only donate the tadpole. End of biology lesson.

I mean in China these days, you can even be an ugly female and get movie-star attention. Imagine the choice of prom dates you'd have if you are a girl living in China?

But get this scientific statistic. In another 10 years, even rich Chinese men will have a hard time finding extra mistresses. Now that brings tears to my eyes. They can't even CHEAT on their wives for lack of females in the population.

It's the poor Chinese men that aren't going to get mates

You know that right? I mean the rich guys will get female companions even if they have to import them from Russia. But what about the male factory worker making 12 cents an hour making spongebob pillows? He won't get squat. He'll have to make himself a plastic doll just to meet his immediate urges. Not "Plan A" for sure. So while China has effectively kept their population from burgeoning, I'm not so sure the Chinese government saw this unbalanced population thing coming. What kind of road rage can you expect in a society where men don't get any satisfaction? It makes me shudder to think about it.

Or did the government, in fact, make this rule knowing full well that their society would be 87% male at marrying age 20 years ago? Hmmm. Perhaps that was their population reduction plan all along. Something to think about wouldn't you say?

Get Simpsonized

Okay, it is a shamelessly obvious promotional marketing ploy sponsored by Burger King but it is still fun. You can upload a photo of yourself and get "simpsonized".

• Just google "Simsonize Me"


• You'll need a photo that is about 5" x 7" (640px x 480px or 480px x 640px). If it's close to that it will upload but if it's super small, it won't.


• It needs to be one of just you. (That's not easy for me so I cropped out others.)


• You upload the photo and make some basic selections then e-mail it to yourself. (This obviously will go in a shameless marketing promotional database with your birthdate and e-mail.)

See which one below looks more like me. The real me is in the middle in case you were confused. Here's a forum where a number of people have "simpsonized" so you can get an idea of the results in case you did not want to cave immediately to the shameless marketing ploy. Print n Post articles & blogs